The Memoirs Of Dr Strangelove
by The Mouse Avenger
Summary: An in-depth look at the life of one of history's greatest cinematic characters, covering his entire existence from birth to death & everything in between, with a little extra added in. Read & review, but no flames, please!
1. Prologue By President Merkin Muffley

**THE MEMOIRS OF DR. STRANGELOVE**

AUTHOR'S NOTES: In the last few months of 2008 & the early months of 2009, I have developed an ever-growing obsession for the 1964 film classic _Dr. Strangelove_; in cultivating that obsession, I have come up with several doodles & fanarts, short stories, & even _Great Mouse Detective_ fanfic characters based on the movie & its characters.

But now, you are about to witness my biggest contribution to the _Dr. Strangelove_ fandom: a novel-length series of memoirs about the title character's life, from birth to death & afterwards. Much time, research, & effort have gone into this project, & I sincerely hope that the fruits of my proverbial labor will appeal to your tastes.

All characters, elements, & properties belonging to "_Dr. Strangelove_" © Stanley Kubrick & Columbia Pictures.  
All original characters, elements, names, & properties © The Mouse Avenger (that's me). I would greatly appreciate it if you asked for my permission before using them in your stories or RPGs; thank you very much in advance.

When you're finished reading the story, feel free to leave a review. I'll take anything from simple comments to constructive criticism, as long as they're not flames or written in a mean, rude, or overly-harsh manner.

* * *

Prologue:

Journal Entry By President Merkin Muffley

_**June 12, 1947**_

_I honestly don't know why I'm doing this. I just don't know._

_I'm certain that God knows the answer, sure, but for whatever reason that suits His fancy, it's not being given to me. Though I really do wish He would provide at least a little effort to lighten the overwhelming burden that's been placed upon my confused & aching brain._

_No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to grasp the meaning (whatever that meaning could possibly be, I have no clue!) behind this "very significant" task I've been asked to perform—even after I've spent two whole years of interviewing the director of the Weapons Research & Development branch of the United States government._

_And what confounds me even more is the all-too-obvious fact that the interviews are done, but not the writing project that I needed to conduct those interviews for in the first place, & I fear that work on the "project" (a massive one, indeed) will continue for the span of several years, if not decades; you see, Dr. Strangelove wants me—me, of all people!—to write his memoirs!_

_Usually, people wait till they start getting on in years before they begin writing their life stories, but Strangelove says he'd much rather get a head-start on them; we've already covered the basics of his life so far in our past interviews, but he says I can add things to the memoirs as time goes on. But just what kind of things does Dr. Strangelove want me to add? Does he want me to give just a general picture of what he went through each day, or describe everything in explicit detail? Would he want me to discuss personal experiences (like a birthday or a death in the family)? Would he want me to write about current events & how they relate to him? Honestly, I just don't know how I'm going to write these "memoirs" without getting a migraine every few seconds!_

_I don't want to be rude or anything. I'm really quite flattered that Dr. Strangelove trusts in me enough to let me write & publish periodicals about the intimate & most personal details of his life...but flattered though I am, I'm also really quite...well, I suppose the right word would be "puzzled". Puzzled about why he chose me to write these memoirs, when he could have chosen someone else. Puzzled about why he wants to start writing these memoirs so early, & at such a young point in his life (the man just reached his 27th birthday, for Gosh sakes!)._

_And I'm especially puzzled—no, not puzzled, bewildered why he neurotically insists on having his memoirs published in the first place—I mean, Dr. Strangelove makes it sound so...so darn important, like people are going to need to read his memoirs one day for a school assignment or something! As if he's actually going to become so famous that everybody in America will want to read about him! Does Strangelove really think he's destined to be some great hero? A historical icon? A living legend?!_

_Don't get me wrong; the last thing I want to do is undermine Dr. Strangelove or his talents; he is a very gifted, intelligent man, & a valued member of my Cabinet, but even I know that he's just a regular, ordinary person, no different from any of us (excluding his past in Germany & his brief stint with the Nazis—more on that later). Maybe I'm just being short-sighted, but it's hard for me to imagine how a guy like Strangelove could become one of America's heroes. Then again, life is full of surprises; maybe, Strangelove will have some kind of great answer or key to some terrible dilemma that may crop up in the future. Who knows, really? Who knows anything?_

_But at the time I write this entry, there is one thing I do know for certain...I'm going to have plenty of cramps in my right hand for the next several years. If not decades._

_Like I said, the interviews with Dr. Strangelove didn't even begin to cover the ongoing process of writing his memoirs._


	2. For Unto Us, A Child Is Born In Berlin

**THE MEMOIRS OF DR. STRANGELOVE**

Chapter 1:  
For Unto Us, A Child Is Born...In Berlin

_**Berlin, Germany  
**__**June 15, 1920**_

The elaborate melodies of skylarks could be heard from miles around as they flowed from the tiny throats of the dull-colored songbirds, who were delicately perched upon the leafy green branches of the linden trees that flourished in the warm summer climate. The sun was shining brightly in the clear blue skies, dappled with puffy white clouds that lazily rolled by in the gentle breeze that was blowing through the streets of Berlin. It was a peaceful, ordinary day in the city; the school year had ended just a little over a couple of weeks ago, & little boys & girls were laughing & playing together, while the adults around them went about their business. It seemed that nothing could disturb the cheerful scene that was taking place...nothing, that is, except for the cries of agony emitting from a well-built two-story house on _Ebertstraße_, or Ebert Street.

On the first floor of the house, inside the kitchen, Klara Agata Merkwürkdigliebe (nee Klemens) was lying on the ground, clutching at the enormous bulge in her stomach as she tried to endure the pain that wracked her frail, petite body. The beautiful young schoolteacher was expecting to deliver her first child today, at the ripe & fruitful age of 25, & although Klara was really looking forward to seeing her offspring come into the world, she also hoped to get the birthing process over with as quickly as possible—the pain & emotional stress that went along with it wasn't doing any good for her or the baby she was about to give birth to.

_Well, I won't need to worry for much longer, _Klara thought to herself with an optimistic smile that showed through the aching expression that appeared on her face. _Almerich will be out of his workshop soon...to bring me to the hospital..._

Almost as if by magic, the door to the kitchen swung open, & Klara's husband, Almerich Merkwürkdigliebe, stepped into the room. A tall, strapping inventor & engineer with brown eyes (hidden behind a pair of scholarly-looking spectacles) & neatly-coifed brown hair, like his wife's, he was still wearing his laboratory coat over his regular clothing, as well as his thick, gray lab boots that made soft thudding sounds as he rushed over to Klara & kneeled down to face her at her level.

"Klara, _mein __liebling__,_" Almerich asked his wife with worry in his eyes as he gently clasped her right hand in his, "what's happened? Are you going into labor?"

Klara let out a little moan of pain, before looking up at her husband & patting her stomach with her left hand as she replied in her soft, sweet voice, "_Ja__, _Almerich. The baby will be due any minute!"

"Come with me, Klara," Almerich said as he helped Klara rise to her feet. "I'll take you to the hospital." Klara leaned against her husband for support, & Almerich began leading his wife to the front door, before opening it & taking her outside, where the Merkwürkdigliebes' sleek, shiny Audi car was waiting for them on the neatly-paved driveway (though the current financial crisis had wiped out middle-class savings, Almerich & Klara were able to keep their wealth & personal property, as they both earned a lot of money from their jobs).

Almerich opened the door to the back half of the car, & Klara carefully helped herself onto the plush seat; after making sure that Klara was strapped in safely, Almerich smiled at his wife, before closing the door shut & going over to take his place at the wheel. Once Almerich had started the car, the engine roared to life, & the Merkwürkdigliebes went off on their journey to Charité Hospital, near the University Of Berlin (where Klara spent most of the year teaching students in surgical courses).

As he carefully maneuvered the car through the streets of Berlin's Mitte district, doing his best to avoid any accidents, Almerich tried to keep his eyes on the road, but every few seconds, he couldn't help but turn to look back at his wife. Klara was still holding her stomach as she worked on her breathing exercises, huffing & puffing in a peculiar, but rhythmic, pattern that seemed to help keep her calm while she was delivering much-needed oxygen to the baby that was about to be born. Almerich smiled when he saw this—it was a sign that Klara was taking good care of herself & was handling the birth procedure very well. He had a feeling that the delivery was going to go smoothly...

* * *

It wasn't long until the Merkwürkdigliebes' car finally reached the Charité Hospital, & once Almerich & Klara had gotten out of the automobile, they both walked into the main lobby of the building, where the receptionists' desk was. Almerich took only a few minutes to sign Klara's entry forms, & as soon as everything was in order, husband led wife to their room in the maternity ward. Upon entering said room, Klara was tended to by a pair of midwives, who helped her change into a hospital gown & get settled in the cot where she would be delivering her baby.

As Klara's feet were carefully placed in stirrups on either side of the foot of the cot, Almerich felt himself trembling with anticipation; he could hardly believe that in just a few moments, he was going to be the father of his first child. Oh, how he awaited the blessed event that was soon to take place! When Almerich went over to Klara's bedside & gently held his wife's hand to comfort her, he couldn't stop himself from bursting into a wide smile; Klara noticed this, & she returned the smile at her husband.

"Well, it looks like it's finally time for the big event," Klara said, her blue eyes glimmering with a twinkle of joyful enthusiasm. "Are you ready, Almerich?"

Almerich nodded, as his smile broadened further across his face. "Yes," he said with an eager nod of his head. "I most certainly _am_ ready, Klara."

Klara leaned over a bit to give Almerich a tender kiss on the cheek, before lying back down on her cot & continuing her breathing exercises as she prepared for the imminent delivery. The midwives gathered around Klara, readying themselves to coach her through the birthing process, while a male doctor (one Dr. Reichmann by name) stood behind them. A few nurses had set up a table with a washtub & other bathing supplies, which they would be using to clean the baby later on.

Klara's muscles tensed as she gripped the side-railings of her cot, bracing herself when she felt another contraction hit her. This time, it was a very painful one—which meant that the baby was due to arrive in just a matter of seconds! As much as Klara dreaded the pain that awaited her, she was nonetheless very excited & extremely happy for the wonderful blessing that _Gott _had brought upon her today. She simply couldn't wait to see her baby for the first time...to watch him take his first cries...to hold him in her arms & tell him how much she loved him...

Suddenly, Klara was brought out of her blissful reverie when she felt another contraction, stronger than the last one. At the direction of the midwives, Klara continued her breathing as she began to push & push with all her might, trying to get the baby out; with each thrust, Klara let out soft groans of pain, but Almerich did his best to comfort his wife as he helped her through the delivery. Finally, after several long & grueling minutes of pushing (which were made easier to bear with the anesthesia that the nurses provided), Klara let out a deep sigh of relief as the labor pains finally ended & Dr. Reichmann pulled her baby out of her womb. The infant, a tiny little thing, soon started to cry, & after Dr. Reichmann carefully cleaned off all the blood, he handed the child over to Klara.

"_Frau _Merkwürkdigliebe," Dr. Reichmann asked as he offered Klara her baby, "would you please hold your son for a few minutes?"

Klara was all too eager to obey the doctor's orders. Slowly, gently, she reached out for her baby boy & brought him into her grasp, pulling him toward her until she was holding him close to her bosom. As she cradled her little child in her arms, Klara smiled down at him with bright, shining eyes that misted with tears of joy. The teacher-turned-mother was deliriously happy right now; after nine long months of waiting for a child, she had finally received one...& to be frank, she considered the birth of her son to be the happiest moment of her life.

Almerich leaned over a bit to take a closer look at his son, & he, too, smiled upon seeing him. "Oh, Klara," he marveled, "he's absolutely..."

"Beautiful," Klara finished in a soft whisper. She brought her face in closer towards the baby's, continuing to smile at him as she stroked his thin layer of light-brown hair & whispered in a sweet, motherly tone, "_Guten__ tag, __mein__ kinder..._Hello, my little baby..." When the baby continued to cry, Klara gently caressed his cherubic face as she cooed comfortingly, "_Weinen Sie __nicht__, __mein __liebling__!_ Don't cry!" Klara began to rock her son back & forth in her arms, gingerly holding the mewling baby while she shushed him & murmured assuring words to him. "It's OK, baby...Shhh...Mommy's here, little one..."

After a while, when the baby had gotten enough oxygen into his lungs, his cries grew quiet, & finally, he started to relax a little, but remained wide awake while he stared up at his proud parents with big, bright brown eyes. Soon, the baby began gurgling as he reached up toward his mother's face with small, chubby arms & hands, calling out to her in his own special way. Klara & Almerich both chuckled, then started gushing over their son & cooing baby-talk to him...until Dr. Reichmann got their attention by clearing his throat.

"I hope you won't mind if I interrupt for a brief moment," said Dr. Reichmann with a playful grin, "but the nurses are waiting to fill out the birth certificate, & they would like to know the name of your son, so they can write it down."

"Our son's name?" asked Almerich quizzically. "Hmm...I'm not sure what we should name him..."

After giving the matter a bit of thought, however, Klara soon came up with an idea. "I've got just the thing!" Klara said, as her smile widened. "We'll call him...Braun Reinmund Bonifaz Merkwürkdigliebe." She looked at Almerich & added, "Braun for his brown hair & eyes...& Reinmund & Bonifaz after two of my cousins."

"Reinmund? Bonifaz?" Almerich asked Klara in puzzlement. "Don't those names have special meanings?"

"_Ja__, _Almerich," answered Klara, nodding her head. "'Wise protector' & 'good fortune or fate'."

"I must admit, Klara, those are _very_ good names," Almerich remarked, then muttered (more to himself than to Klara), "Perhaps...they may even be...prophetic."

"Prophetic?" asked Klara, who had overheard her husband's comment. "Do you really think so?"

"_Well,_" replied Almerich with some hesitancy, "as you know very well, Klara, I'm not a superstitious person...but...somehow, when I think of the meanings of those two names...I can't help but get the feeling that, maybe, they weren't _just_ selected in honor of your cousins...if you know what I mean. It _could_ be an act of divine intervention...Then again, it could just be a coincidence."

"Well, whatever it is that gave me the idea," said Klara, "I'm sure that our little Braun will grow up to be very proud of his name." As if to agree with his mother, Braun let out a happy coo & clapped his hands together.

"It's settled, then!" said Dr. Reichmann as he went over to watch the nurses fill out the birth certificate. "The child shall be named Braun Reinmund Bonifaz Merkwürkdigliebe."

"A very wonderful name for a very wonderful child," said Klara, gazing down warmly at little Braun as she stroked his hair & petted his face. When Klara brought her hand up & displayed it in plain view of Braun, the infant brought his own tiny hand up & let it rest in his mother's open palm. He gurgled sweetly when he felt his mother's warm, soft fingers gently wrapping themselves around his paw, welcoming him into the lives of his parents...into the world.

* * *

The following evening, Klara was discharged from the hospital, & was allowed to return home with her husband & son. It didn't take very long for Braun to get adjusted to life in his new home, & after a few days, no one—not even the Merkwürkdigliebes—could tell that there had once been only two people in the house.

Just one week after Braun was born, on a clear, moonlit night, Klara was helping her baby get ready for bed; Braun had already been fed, bathed, & changed, & now, his mother was cradling him in her arms, gently clasping her child to her breast as she swayed back & forth, back & forth, in a wooden rocking chair. Excited after the long & busy day he'd had, Braun couldn't stop himself from gurgling & cooing, as a baby is usually wont to do, but Klara wanted to make sure that her son fell asleep & didn't stay up late. When Braun started to get fussy after a while, he started to whimper, but Klara knew just how to keep her baby calm—by singing him a lullaby.

"Hush, _mein Sohn__,_" Klara cooed in a sing-song tone as she stroked Braun's hair. "Don't be upset...Mommy will sing a sleepy-song to make you feel all better!" With that, she softly cleared her throat, & began to sing...

_**Ruhen Sie Ihren Kopf  
Und haben Sie Fried!  
Hören Sie der Melodie  
Von mei**__**nem Wiegenlied**_

**_Ach, mein Klein Liebling,  
Weinen Sie nicht!  
Sonnen Sie sich im  
Leuchten vom Kerzenlicht_**

**_Haben Sie gute Träume  
Durch die ganze Nacht,  
Haben Sie ruhigen Schlaf  
Bis Sie erwacht_**

**_Haben Sie nicht Angst,  
Und weinen Sie nicht  
Weil Sie werden immer  
In meiner Sicht_**

As Klara sang the last stanza of the lullaby, little Braun fell fast asleep in his mother's arms, a peaceful smile on his angelic face. Klara smiled back at her son, then got up out of the rocking chair & walked over to Braun's crib, filled with a menagerie of stuffed animals, as well as a fuzzy blanket & pillow. After carefully laying Braun down in the crib, with his head resting on the pillow, Klara tucked in his blanky until he was all covered up & cozy as could be; then, Klara bent over to gently kiss the sleeping Braun on the forehead, & as she pulled her lips away from his brow, she whispered, "_Guten nacht__, __mein Sohn__..._I love you."


End file.
